An Incomparable Loss, My Mother

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“Khudaija, Mummy has passed away!”

My brother was calling from Karachi, at 1:23 a.m Canada time, to inform me of mummy’s passing away. “Innalilaahe wa Inna Illehe Rajiyun! My Mom…” this was all I could say before tears started flowing. I handed over the phone to my husband, who had woken up because of the call. It was 12th June, 2014.

The intensity of pain that I felt is something I cannot explain in words. I still can’t come to terms with the fact that she is no more although I know that she was really sick for quite some time and needed this relief. I had prayed that Allah (SWT) ease her pain and suffering, not to make her dependant on anyone in her last days. The moment I heard this news, I knew that Allah (SWT) had answered my prayer in a beautiful manner. That she had passed away in her room, on her bed, while she was asleep, Alhamdulillah! There is a great solace in the fact; however the shock is great too. I know I have to be patient. I know that there is reward in patience.

The Prophet (SAWS) says:

“Allah, the Exalted, says: ‘I have no reward other than Jannah for a believing slave of Mine who remains patient for My sake when I take away his beloved one from among the inhabitants of the world.”                         (Bukhari)

What followed this news, was a mix of emotions, sadness, regret and pain.

There was sadness in the fact that the one person in the world, whose du’as kept me going – my mother – was no more. I had felt insecure when my father passed away when I was 19 years old, but that day, 19 years later, when Mummy left me, I felt shelter-less.

I have been away from Pakistan for six years but I could always feel my mother’s love encompassing me in the form of her prayers.  Who would make such selfless du’as for me?

I regret the fact that I last spoke to my mother 12 days before her death when she told me she was absolutely fine, not revealing her pain to me. How I wish I had spoken to her one last time before she breathed her last!

There is pain in the fact that I was here, so far away, from where I couldn’t reach out to her, bid farewell to her, see her the last time before her departure from this world. All flights were reaching Pakistan on either Saturday or Sunday and the funeral was being held on Friday after Zuhr prayers, awaiting the arrival of three of my siblings who were also out of Pakistan. I couldn’t imagine going to my father’s house and not seeing Ma there, after her burial, so I decided to stay back.

Losing a parent is not easy for anyone, especially when you live so far away that you are in different time zones altogether. The only thing that I can now do for my mother is pray. I sincerely pray that Allah (SWT) listens to my prayers and that of my siblings and grant her the highest rank in Jannah. Aameen.

Death is a reality that we all have to face. Sometimes it comes so suddenly that we don’t even get a chance to understand what has happened. We have been reminded in several places in the Quran to remember our death and to display patience in time of such an experience. Allah promises to give greatest rewards to those who are patient in times of such calamities.

Allah also reminds us that none of us can escape death and that all of us shall taste death:

“And Allah grants respite to none when his appointed time (death) comes. And Allah is All-Aware of what you do.”                          (~ Holy Quran, Al-Munafiqoon, 11)

Allah also reminds us that all worldly possessions and wealth will be left behind when our Time comes. However, we still tend to forget the reality that none of us will take our belongings into the grave with us, we only carry our deeds with us to the Hereafter. These deeds, whether good or bad will determine our fate in our final abode. We often forget this reality and get engrossed in the world. In actuality, the most important work to be done in this world is to perform good deeds, repent sincerely for our sins and worship Allah (SWT) in a manner most pleasing to Him, and refrain from sins as well as bad deeds.

As our Prophet (SAWS) has told us:

“When a person dies, all his deeds come to an end except three: sadaqae jaariyah (ongoing charity), beneficial knowledge (which he has left behind), or a righteous child who will pray for him.”                             (Tirmidhi)

I pray to Allah (SWT) sincerely, to not make this dunya our biggest concern and to make us a means of sadaqae jaariyah for our parents and our children for us. I request you all to join me in the du’a for my mother and all those who have passed away, among our loved ones.

‘O Allah, forgive and have mercy upon her, excuse her and pardon her, and make honorable her reception. Expand her entry, and cleanse her with water, snow, and ice, and purify her of sin as a white robe is purified of filth. Exchange her home for a better home, and her family for a better family, and her spouse for a better spouse. Admit her into the Garden, protect her from the punishment of the grave and the torment of the Fire.’

(Muslim)

Aameen

This article was first published at Muslim Moms.

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